When it comes to relationships, some men act confused. I don’t know whether they are truly confused about the kind of women that appeals to them or they deliberately go for opinionated women just to subdue them.
I have heard stories of men insisting their women change their dressing, quit their jobs and stop doing businesses because they married them. The funny thing is that they saw these women dressing a particular way, doing the jobs and successful at it too and making money from their businesses before they proposed marriage to them, yet they went ahead with the marriage.
What kind of wickedness is that? Who gave you the right to disrupt another person’s life like that because they agreed to marry you? Would you stop living your life because you got married or what? Why do you think your woman should stop making her own money because she made the mistake of saying yes to you?
Amy E. Spiegel said “Don’t marry an orange and expect him to turn into an apple.” If you want an orange, great, if not, put him back in the proverbial fruit bowl for someone else to enjoy and move on.” I agree with her. When it comes to marriage, go for someone who shares the same values and convictions with you. Anything short of that will give rise to unhappiness and problems.
If you know you want a full time housewife, go for a woman who has the same convictions as you in that regard. Don’t be carried away by the sweetness of a high flying career lady and emotionally blackmail her to give up her job. She has the right to live her life the way she wants just like you. So, go for your kind.
Don’t marry a woman whose life is centred around her career if you can’t stand it. Don’t close your eyes to what drives her and start commanding her to submit to you by quitting her job. You are a wicked person. The Bible you are quoting talks about loving your wife like Christ loved the church. You can’t claim to love someone by stopping her from doing what she loves.
If you love and get mesmerised by women with huge melon breasts, marry one. Don’t marry one with orange breast size and start making her life miserable. Go for what you want and what appeals to you. Don’t allow confusion to reign supreme in your life by cheating on her with huge melon breasted women. Didn’t you see the size of the breasts in the first place?
If you love tall, beautiful women, marry one. Don’t marry a short, ugly, and flabby woman because your church mummy told you she will make a good wife material and become a thorn in her flesh later. You are the one who will live with her for years, not your church mummy or daddy. Don’t go for a woman who doesn’t appeal to you and start making her unhappy while you keep comparing her to the kind of woman you want.
If a submissive woman is your spec, brother, marry one and live happily ever after. Don’t go for an opinionated and start making her miserable. If you want a woman who will kneel to serve you food and not question you when you misbehave, marry one. There are many of them around you. Take a pick and live in peace afterwards. Don’t let the devil tempt you to walk in the opposite direction.
I read a story once about a female doctor who was engaged to be married to this guy who was also successful in his field. Brother didn’t indicate that he wanted a full time housewife all the while they were dating. He kept deceiving this lady hoping to get her trapped until their wedding was two weeks away.
That was when he dropped the bomb shell. He said he can’t marry a working woman. Sister thought she didn’t hear clearly. She jokingly asked him if he had too much to drink or if he was joking. But he said he was serious. He said he wanted her to resign from her job immediately they got married. Sister begged but he refused. He claimed she was his wife and there was nothing she could do about it.
The annoying reason he gave was that his father told him that working women don’t make submissive wives. He said his father stopped his mother from working after they got married even though she had a first degree and a Masters degree in Pharmacy. Even when his mother tried selling recharge cards in front of their house, his father stopped her. She was told that a wife must be submissive to her husband.
Brother said he wanted a woman like his mother for a wife. Sister stated she wasn’t ready to throw away all the years she spent in school studying and working for a marriage. This caused a huge fight between them. Their families got involved and majority cajoled sister to give up her career for her marriage because marriage is a woman’s greatest achievement. Sister insisted that being a housewife wasn’t what she wanted for herself.
Church people got involved and started quoting the Bible like they always do. Sister stated that she was confused about what to do because the pressure was too much. Her mother wanted to beat her chest among her fellow women with pride because of her wedding. Her father wanted her to shift ground a bit because men will be men. Her friends were saying she should just do it so that she won’t have to start dating all over having dated this guy for five years.
Sister told some other people that were not in her circle and they advised her to quit the relationship and call off the wedding. Sister took their advice after much critical persuasion. She called off the wedding citing incompatibility. All hell broke loose. Brother’s family went to town with tales of her not being good for their brother after all. They called her names and tarnished her reputation. It was the worst period of her life.
One year later, she settled for a man who wanted her for who she was and encouraged her in her career. The funny aspect of this story was that he was her childhood friend and had been in her life all along. He quickly grabbed the opportunity of her being single again to make his desires known. Today, they are married. They have peace. He is not threatened by her career nor insists she gives up anything for him. That’s how a marriage should be.
Recently, a woman sent a message to a church mummy about the many fights she was having with her husband. She revealed that when she met her husband, she attends a church that prohibits use of jewellery and wearing of trousers. Her husband knew this about her. He saw her like that many times with her hair covered and her ears and neck bare, yet he went after her. He wooed her and pretended not to see that she had her own beliefs. He claimed God said she was his wife.
But she got the shock of her life three months after their marriage. Husband started insisting that she should wear jewellery. Sister refused and said it was against her beliefs. That was how fights started and sister ran to church mummy. Church mummy told her to do what her husband wants because wives should be submissive. She said she should start wearing jewellery for her husband so that peace would reign and not scatter her marriage.
Church mummy didn’t ask brother the evil spirit that carried him into sister’s life in the first place since he loves women with jewellery and make up. Didn’t he see ladies in his church with jewellery and make up when he went chasing one whose church members doesn’t use such things? But she went ahead to tell the sister to start living a lie because of a man. As usual, a woman must give up herself to please a man.
Sometimes when I see men who believe that a woman’s life begins and ends with being a wife and mother go for successful career and businesswomen, my brain starts to wonder what happened. The funny aspect of these men who missed their way into the lives of these high flying women is when they start complaining and whining about these women not being submissive.
What kind of confusion is that? Why don’t you just go for a woman who fits into your plans for a wife? Why marry a woman and start telling her to quit her job or business? Why marry a woman and start emotionally blackmailing her to do what she is not comfortable doing while quoting the Bible? Why do men think they have the right to change women and how they live their lives?
I don’t understand why these insecure men don’t go for homely women who would worship them till they drop dead. You don’t disrupt someone else’s life with your myopic mindset and expect them to keep swallowing it. Men, go for your kind. Marry your kind. Stop turning the Bible upside down to suit your insecurities. The world would be a better place.